From the time you entered school as a wide-eyed, curious child, you have begun to meet people in your age range and in the same developmental stage as yourself. Some of these people shared toys with you in elementary school, counseled you when you were dumped in high school, and was your voluntary designated driver in college. Usually you called these generous people friends and sometimes you were right, but life changes and so do people. It is truly the test of time that reveals to you who has been your real friend all along. However, there are three major signs on the highway of friendship that tell you when to exit a road going nowhere.
Sign one: Winding Road Ahead
Your “friend” is always making promises that he doesn’t keep. You told your friend two days in advance that you would need a ride from work and he agrees to help you out. The day arrives that you leave your place of business with aching feet, anticipating your friend’s red Honda to be parked in the lot. Lo and behold your friend is nowhere in sight. If you can’t depend on your friend to hold you down in times of need then who can you count on? Give the undependable people in your life the green light to go…far away from you.
Sign two: Caution: Construction Ahead
There are instances when your friends will need you to have their backs. Perhaps your friend has lost her wallet and needs a small loan until payday. Life has its unexpected events, but if your “friend” is in need every time you hear from her then that is a problem. Real friends will call just to say hello, discover how you are doing or share exciting news with you. If you only hear from your friend when he has reached a stumbling block in his life, this means that he views you as “Captain save a homie” more than a genuine comrade. Take a detour away from this under construction mess.
Sign three: Bridge may be icy
The “friend” who has a heart of ice and shows inconsideration, is unhealthy to your life in more ways than one. When you visit or meet up with a friend, you should leave feeling refreshed and uplifted. A friend should be the highlight of an ordinary day. India, a 25 year old secretary in Atlanta shared how she had to separate herself from a college buddy who began to seem more like an enemy than a friend. “Maria and I had so much fun and shared so many laughs in college. After college I allowed her to live with me and was able to find out about her selfish ways. She ate my groceries and never bought any, she never took out the trash and she never cleaned. She even had the nerve to make negative comments about my appearance.” India reported her moment of clarity when she said, “I began to hang out with another college friend who was so encouraging and considerate of my feelings. It was then that I realized how much happier I felt overall when I took a break from Maria and spent more time in the presence of a nurturer.”
The friendship highway is what you make it. If you don’t take heed to the signs you can create a stressful situation or even put yourself in harm’s way. Be sure to pay close attention to the signs so you can enjoy a smooth ride to your destination of Healthy Friendship Lane.
The World is Ours Blogger,
Leah C. Powell